#nowplaying Ed Sheeran

"i don't know when i lost my mind,maybe when i made you mine" 

 yes, i love you and yes,i miss you.please take note. :)

1000 dreams.

The Kite Runner ; i bought the book since last January but only now i have the time to read it,but seriously this book had me at its first word.i bring it to my workplace,to my bed and when i am so into the writing,i bring it to the toilet as well.sampei juakk??yess..nang sampei juak. :D

and the boyfriend is being adorable as always.:3

"you love me not?"

the question i will never get tired of listening to.oh the butterflies flying rapidly each time he says the L bomb and i can't even deny that my heart is really into him day after day.being in love with someone who loves you back,is such a heavenly thing to feel and nothing could ever beat that.

the white lace has arrived!it came yesterday and i am indeed satisfied with my new LWD.Dad was being nosy as always and asked me the same question every week and month this morning "barang apa kau beli tot?" and due to laziness,i just said "barang lah" xD no no not being rude,i just sometimes hate listening him nagging about clothes i purchased almost every two weeks. *sigh* i need to go to online shopping rehab. t_t

well, since i am talking about clothes now,here's the link to the online shops i usually shop at and yes,it's not that expensive at all. :)

October Origins

Banana Mustard

Anaabu for the vintage feel

The Vintage Affair

Oxford fans

and currently digging on this ; Mooie!

#nowplaying 1901 by Birdy,and i am still hunting the peter pan collared dress.

Fever Dreams.

• spent some time browsing quotes at quote garden.finally a fair few words for my brain.thinking of buying LOTR set for rm129,what say you?
• rabbit tooth as the new wallpaper.the phone looks much more cutesy! :D
• texting with Cen day and night,24 hours a day,7 days a week,"i love you' every day,on the phone for hours listening to his voice talking endlessly,laughing uncontrollably during webcams.conclusion,i am freaking damn happy in this relationship of ours. :) 
• April 8th is just around the corner! *smiling wide*
• hung out with Karen for five minutes flat and yes,i miss her so much i slapped her on the shoulder yelling "oi perempuan" and she slapped me back for sure.we both are crap heads.
• yesterday was a nightmare though,worse than nightmare in Elm Street i might say and why was that?well well,i won't tell because it's too embarassing to talk here in a public blog and therefore,let Cen and i know what happened yesterday but still,it was so AHAHAHAHA and at the same time i felt like T_T
• cannot wait to receive my dress and dear dear rabbit headbands.ngee~
• and and Harry Shum JR is just so asdfghjkl. #onemorereason why i should watch Glee. :D

rainbows all over :)

#nowplaying Kata by The Trees and The Wild.the guy introduced me to this band used to be the guy somewhere over the rainbow but he isn't now,he's theee boyfriend now. :D

life has been great so far,has been treating me very very well indeed.thank you so much to Him for giving me endless of happiness after countless of dark times i've been through.i guess the saying is pretty accurate "after a hurricane,there's a rainbow" and yes,Cen is the rainbow that sparks up my life.suk sik kau Cen? :D *hugss*

printed his photos just to see his face every day,each time i wake up every morning and each time i go to bed.each time i miss him and each time i wish i could see him in a real life instead of in the technology world.we are in a long distance relationship but not for a long time,the date April 8th will be the big day for me because he is coming back home for real good and that's it,no more LDR for real although i still stuck at this small town but well well,we'll find a way to meet up.estimated 32km from Kuching to this town,kinda eff but there will always a way to sort this distance matter.

quote by Cecen. :3

i know maybe some people out there talk about us,saying shitty things about him and me as well,brought up my past,his past although it's long forgotten,some humans just can't see us being happy in a relationship which i do not understand why and can't quite figure out the reason of this as well.no i'm not sad at all,i do not care about you strangers opinions,i am perfectly happy with my own life,my own choice and i am glad that i share my life with him.it's time for haters to suck it up and accept the fact that we are an item now.fucking accept it,no matter how shitty he was before,i believe in a second chance and every one deserves it because no human being in this earth is perfect.he ain't perfect,i ain't perfect and you ain't perfect either.so stop judging and please,mind your own bussiness because life is too short to gossip about other people's life. :)

the reason i smile every day and forever in a cloud nine.

 p/s i still think the icon should be ":)" instead of  ":D" but even better if you put ":B"  Cen.ngee. 

fight for the future :)

feels like heaven.

because i'm with you now.

Chen :)

imissyou

and 

most importantly

iloveyou

and i mean it

sweetsweet Chen :)

RabbittChenn

#nowplaying Honeymoon on Ice - The Trees and The Wild

my dad : datang sitok.parcel dah datang,ambik kan.

me : okay! *smiling around*

Dear Cecen@Love, thank you for the birthday gift that you sent alll the way up north Malaysia to the land of Borneo.thank you for the allll the way from Thai baby tee!it looks awesome on me eyh. "KAU ADA??SIKKDA!" :D when i opened the package,i was suprised to see a pendrive inside and then the card with your handwriting written on it and the notepad thing.with all the songs you saved inside because you want me to listen to them which i am now,just make me feel the bliss,the happiness,the love and everything that melts me.you are full of surprises and for sure,you never fail to make me smile and laughing out loud with your jokes every single day.it feels really nice when i'm with you,talking with you.hours felt like seconds and days felt like minutes.the time is ticking fast wherenever my thoughts are with you,when i'm with you..

i known you since high school and all we did was smiling to each other,nothing more but now,things are different.you are my boy friend,no longer just a friend. :) 

you stole my heart,my brain,my everything but i'm glad you did because i don't want anyone else but you,love. :) 

23 and in bloom :)

so the day i turn a year older has finally reached my doorstep.i am officially 23 years old and to be honest,this seems great,i don't know why i'm feeling this way.i thought i was going to be so gloomy and probably hate it but well well,i was wrong about myself.i love it! :D and maybe because i was influenced by this guy cute guy whom i can call MINE now .hehe.mine~ gerek aku.haha. :D so many things had happened to me recently which i am not proud of to admit on what i did,hurt people's feelings,broke someones's trusts and shitty stuff like that.i was going through hell just days before my birthday.at some point,i just want to cry and again,be a loner myself,isolate myself from humans like i used to do but i keep thinking to myself,i can't be that weak anymore.enough is enough.i need to get up,be strong and face the world.i need to go with my guts and listen to my heart and brain instead of listening to others.of course,there were dramas all around and hell hell hell i dislike dramas but it's inevitable.i was in a mess,deep mess.fortunately,every thing is settled like i wanted to,every thing is backed to its place once more and yea,i'm glad i've been through this with the help of my guy Dick Cheney,he's the one that keeps me strong,putting a smile on my face every single day,his words keeps me grounded and stay true to myself and most importantly,he made me realize what i want in my life,not others.

maybe he is a gift from Above?who knows..

born since 1989 and still living the air,i am grateful for what i have now.although my life is mostly not all about happiness,laughters and such but,with my dad around,my sister,him,my best friends,i wouldn't trade anything for them.they are too precious for me,priceless and without them,i don't think i can survive living in this harsh reality.i am so fragile my soul can be broke like a twig and that's when they come into my life and guide me until i gain my strength back and follow the light again.

there are times i think about my mum tho like wouldn't it be nice to have her around with us.i miss those times with her,although i was little but somehow,i could captured those moments and saved in my mind.my last birthday celebration with her,when i was 7 years old and that was it,she couldn't make it on March 16th the following year and since then,i learned to be independent.

i been through a lot.from heartbreaks,family dramas,life problems,issues with friends,relationships.long story short,been there done that.there are so many things that i'd learn be it from the past or in present and to put in summary ; i have a colourful life.bitter sweet,black and white,that's how my life roll now and am living it to the fullest with my guy Cheney. :)

i love you Dick Cheney :) be here soon.xx.

youyouyouyouyou. :)

i like the fact that it comes naturally,not by force or something that i'd plan.it just flows like that,like a slow stream.taking things slowly instead of rushing and yes,i didn't see this coming at all,i didn't expect this but yea,my heart and my brain tells me that i like you,i like you a lot. :)

Heart beats like a Super Bass

             

 

nothing much to say except i am completely grateful for today and yes,i can't stop smiling even until now.thank you for putting a smile upon my face you boy.

:)

p/s : the blonde girl in this video..i am jealous of her,i admit.from her hair,her make up,her style even her on screen boyfriend,her job as well.the dresses hung on the wall,the peter pan white lace dress.ultimate vintage.

talk about that,my clothes finally arrived last Wedneday.my dress,my long sleeve shirt,a short pant and two skinny belts but sadly,i purchased the wrong size for my short pant.it's too small!or i'm the one that's getting bigger?! ==' and so i gave my sister for free.she likes it and so,happy ending i guess?eventhough my money flew away just like that but oh well,that's life i suppose.

reading of the month?

done with Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte,now i am moving on to her sister,Emily Bronte.well lets hope her writing will not going to dissapoint and constantly intrigues with her words.

and now i am off to watch The Lord of The Rings.

and you there rabbit teeth,imy. :)

1901

#nowplaying New American Classic,introduced by someone over the rainbow. :) 

beautiful morning i had today.Nienie and i went to Creative Kids.i noticed one thing once i entered the building,no kids were crying at all.none.all of them were happily watching television,eating,i caught one or two of them trying to smacked each other's shoulder.oh so cute.those innocent faces,sometimes i wonder what the future has install for them.do they will feel what i feel during adolescence,adulthood,dealing with fuck up human situations?will their glee smiles will fade through times?i can't stop myself but keep on wondering.i wish i could have a time machine tho,wherenever i encounter awful occurences,i will fly myself back to the 90's and warning the kiddo me ; avoid this guy,avoid that guy,don't do this don't do that or you will pay the price.i think,maybe in that way,i could save myself from a hell lot of dramas,heart breaks be it relationships and friendships and even family.

the only problem for a 6 year old is "which dress should i wear to school?" or "should i buy this candy instead of the other one?" i miss having those problems,simple problems.not involving money,life,friends,guys,work and every thing.

Just Like Heaven

#nowplaying Just Like Heaven ~ The Cure. show me how you do it and i'll run away with you.

well,my flickr has finally updated with photos i recently took.it has been a month i didn't upload anything,photos nor videos.it's not that i'm lazy,i'm just too busy with this present life now with work and everything.anyways,CLICK THIS LINK HERE to see my recent pictures. :)

the girl : i wonder where is your mind now,pikir pasal manager mok pindah kah?

me : *smiling* sikda lah,thinking about something else.

the girl : yer eksen,padah jak sedih pasal manager ya. 

me : apakahh!bena lah..otak aku kat somewhere over the rainbow eh.

the girl : jauh na juak?? 

me : yup. *smiling*

it's amazing that you don't have an impact in my life now,thanks to God for opening up my eyes and for the first time,i feel so free,weightless and each time u pass by,looking inside,i feel nothing.no more the usual sparks erupted in my heart.no more butterflies.no more anxiety.no nothing.i think i do have a heart of a tin man right now,a heart made of stone,feeling-less.this month is the last month we will ever going to see each other again,i don't know when will we meet.i don't know if i still live here by the time you move back again.i don't know if you still remember me,my face or even my name once you'll go.this is it,finally i will never see you again and i won't be hunt by your memories.i finally can sleep in peace..

and now,you are one of those footprints,has left my life and turning into another memory made.

Porcelain Hands

no no,i will not explain why i deleted my old blog and make a new one because i think i myself don't know the reasons why hence don't ask or i will punch you in the face with my not so large hand.customizing,editing for about Lord knows how many hours i faced this laptop screen accompanied with my usual sidekick,hot coffee.feeling so caffeinated i don't think i will be going to bed soon although i am working tomorrow.i mostly spent time in the studio now instead of in the office.Nikon d800 is the new friend but i don't like it at first sight.i still like my old Midnight given by that used to be adorable guy and yeah,i did spent some time with him,about 20 minutes as soon as i reached home.i miss snapping random shots. 

first post,less words.i don't want to ramble and start talking unnecessary stuff or probably pouring my heart here.i'm tired,mentally and physically tired but,life goes on.i must go on,stop overthinking and start living.

the end.