Farewell, September

tomorrow will be the mark of a new month entering our lives and i really hope October will be good to me and not being an ass.i need to cut down my shopaholic attitude and start saving up money as boyfriend and i are planning going for a vacation ; * skinny dipping on late night? * and Christmas is coming soon! * i knowww, 2 months plus gik * yet i am excited to survey and shop Christmas pressie for him. :)

anyway,i hope October will be a great month for everybody and if it doesn't,well change it by your positive attitude and don't forget to smiley miley. 

i hope i will see you again September 2013.au revoir~ 

Sept 21st 12

i miss him so much i feel like wanna shoot someone in the brain or bitchslap haters face or eat a human alive.

* the other night *

Chen : yea you have big eyes,like an alien jak.

me : so you're saying i look like an alien la?

Chen : no no kan alien have big eyes,you have big eyes.you there,call me small eyes,say " are you closing your eyes now?you sleeping ka? " where got i close my eyes,ya baruk insulting.

me : *can't stop laughing*

i miss you.i miss laughing and having a great time with you,love. :(

to die by your side,is such a heavenly way to die, Dresses..

i received my Asos dress yesterday,i was supposed to feel happy about it but apparently i purchased the wrong size! :/ i thought i could fit up to UK8 but wrong wrong wrong.i'm UK6 and UK8 is a bit large for me.shitnessss.i tried not to be dramatic about it but i complaint to Maria and boyfriend,because i had too!if not i could be grumpy all day long just because of ONE bodycon dress.I KNOW RIGHT! :/ 

it's really funny of how an outfit can ruin your whole mood the entire day. *sigh*

what makes it worse yesterday was that my sister tried on the dress and it fits her perfectly in every place.shibai and while she were being narcissistic on the mirror,i made a deal to her,i'll give her the dress for free but she need to buy a new dress for me and duh,of course she said yes.haha.so yea,i guess the dress isn't quite a disaster after all,i still can manage to make a profit out of that dress.smart brain,smart smart brain and i just freaking love Asos dresses.although the prices are a bit expensive but deep down in my heart,i know it's worth every penny that i'd spent.

here's their site in case you wanna take a sneak peek : ASOS ASOS ASOS

the red skater dress is rm86 including postage at salesandfrills ,what say you? :D 

morons.

whatever you say,whatever you do,people will always gonna comment and judge you no matter what.so here's my middle finger to you,for judging my life and my love life.don't you ever think that you know me that well to judge me,don't you ever think that you had been through what i been through because different person has a different experience and do you actually think that you are perfect enough?mature enough?good enough to simply say nasty things about me? pfft. instead of minding about my love life,why don't you mind about your own love life first?fix your own problem before you wanna fix mine.i am perfectly happy with my beau now and what does it has to do with you?sik kurang beras kat umah kau nak?sik hilang duit kau nak?

and i still can't believe you still have the interest to know about my life,kepo much?

you may have a pretty face but sadly you have an ugly soul.

my little hero. :)

from March till September,we are already 6 months together.being silly and lovey together,i love this boyfriend of mine.on the early of our relationship,we endured so many things together.he saw me cried,he saw me fought with my dad,he met my aunt when the " incident" occured and bonded with her in just a second.i still recall my aunt said " what was his name again?,Cencen ka?" me : " Cecennnnnnn,bukan Cencennn,hahaha,just call him Dick jak " he met my family and went to my kampung.he is the only boyfriend that i brought to home and to my kampung eventhough we haven't reach one year status.back then i never brought any of my exes to home and met my family unless i feel confident about them and must be in a  relationship more than 1 year but with this Dick Cheney,its all different.i never think twice to bring him along everywhere i go because i want people that i know,people that i loved know he is my boyfriend now,he is my source of happiness and bliss. :3

he brought me to his home twice,met his dad ( Uncle Jopiieee! :D ) and his grandma and each time i wanna leave,he would give me a big warm hug and quick kiss on my lips.i feel special,i don't know why i feel that way.maybe my exes never treated me like the way he treated me and each days passing by,i feel even more in love with him deeper.yes are apart now,he's in Penang and im here in Sarawak but those butterflies and cloud nines,i still can feel and live in it.aaa i am so in love aren't i? during these 6 months together,we fought a lot,almost every night and i usually ended up slept with an angry heart and troubled mind but we managed to get over it in time.the love we had never ever reduce although yes,we shouted at each other  ( accidentally ) but we quickly apologized and admit each other's mistakes and soon we hugged and kissed.we're just like another normal couple out there,have its own ups and downs and in this relationship of ours,i feel there's more happiness than sadness.he's being the most considerate,the most patient,the most caring boyfriend i ever had.maybe he wasn't in his past but in the present,with me,he is an adorable love and that's what matters most.

 

" i love you like no other, i really really want to be with you and i ain't gonna let you go easily "

and i love him like no other too,i really really want to be with him and i ain't gonna let him go that easily, because of him,i feel alive again,because of him,i found the light after walking in a long dark road endlessly and because of him,i know how it feels like to be human again,to be able to laugh and to enjoy the life.

i love you dearly Dick Cheney,thank you for always being there for me,for always listening to my rants and complaints,for being extremely patient when i was being a stuck up,fussy and a spoil brat,for the time that you spent with me.i can list down so many great things about him but i don't think a day isn't enough.believe me. ;) so dear Dick Cheney,you came into my life and make it more wonderful than it was before.filled with laughters and tears although the tears part ya need to cut down haha but yeah,i feel wonderful when i'm with you.i feel happy.truly happy and believe me sayang,i will never ever gonna cheat on you because you are a too precious for me to do such stupid thing.

Happy 6monthsary baby! lets keep on continuing making memories so we can always look back and laugh about our own sillines in the future. :*

White Swan

flickr updated :)

i'm coping with this LDR thing,boyfriend always call me on most random times now,keep on lifting up my spirit and constantly gave me wisdom talks so i will never ever feel even slightest the feeling of down.and i can't help myself but falling more deeply into the love hole.

him : don't cry,don't be sad,we can do this okay sayang.kiss you.i love you.

i feel so blessed to have him in my life.he is definitely one of the special gifts given by above.i am glad that i met him when i was single and i am glad that we fell in love with each other,accept each others faults and scars..he loves my quirks and i love his's too.he proved to me that all guys aren't the same and most importantly he never ever give up on me eventhough there were times i was so passive and pushed him away.how can i not love him humans..

fin..

i watched Black Swans so many times recently,i really love the movie.white and black swan.i feel relate to both of the two swans.sometimes i want every single little thing in my life to be perfect until at one point,it consumed my soul mercilessly and i am also a fragile lady thus i am easily despair and torn by my own emotions.Black Swan is definitely my favourite all time movie. <3

and did i ever mention that i have a lesbian crush with Natalie Portman?no?oh yes i do..ever since she acted as Queen Amidala in Star Wars.she's classy,gorgeous,beautiful,brainy and humble.a perfect package.what's not to love? :)

Je'taime Dick Cheney. :*

warning ;  this post is going to be emotional and if you can't read emo shits,please leave before you barf.

i can't believe i am going to be in a long distance relationship again after what happened in 2011.i thought i would be like,in a normal relationship because frankly,the past made me traumatise of LDR.but,life always has a suprise for every human being in this world and i too,included in its plan.

Chen will be flying off to Penang at 0600 and once he will be in the plane,we are officially in a LDR.again,for us both.once he was still in Perlis and now,he will be in Penang.this time,it's going to be 2 years and a half.*can i bang my head on the wall?* i am so going to miss him,miss him so badly.in fact,i already miss him when i hugged him yesterday. :'( we met for the last time for the year 2012 ( Monday and Tuesday ) and i was really really really fucking glad and happy that he managed to came over in spite of his studies matters.to be honest,i was quite scared and upset that he might not going to make it yet he did,he did came over to spent 2 days with me.i was a happy camper for 2 days. :') and i love him so so so much that although it's already late and yet he still wanted to come all the way from Kuching just to make me the most happiest girl in the world.the meet up,was a big deal for me.i wanted to see him before he leave,to touch him,to smell him and to feel him.i want to remember everything about him,from his hair to his "hobbit" toes. :') 

i love him so much it hurts.

i cried so hard yesterday,no,for the record,since last week until now.i know i am supposed to be cool,act relax and take it easy,things will gonna be okay.well,i know but i am just not that person.i can't act cool and act nothing happen because my boyfriend is leaving tomorrow.so yea,i need to be emotional for today and maybe tomorrow and soon after all the emotional thoughts and feelings will be gone,i will be normal and little miss sunshine again. sigh* this feelings,i wish i coul get rid of them but as the saying sounds "easier said than done" sigh* i gave him my tribal bracelet yesterday,for him to wear everyday to class and such so that he will always think of me and i'm wearing the ring necklase that he gave me so i will think and remember him everyday. :') 

 we can do this,okay?please,stay with me,hang on.i love you - him

what makes me so freaking emotional yesterday was when we were having this conversation, he said to me "when you going to Spring,you not gonna see me,when you gonna pass by my work place and look inside,im not there anymore,no more late night outings together,no more texting you saying i wanna hang out,this time i will text you i'm going to class,gonna study and such but don't worry,this is just for temporary jak.okay syg?" everything is not the same anymore.the next time i'm gonna coming down to Kuching,it will not because of him anymore.the last face to face conversations we had yesterday,it hurts knowing i wont gonna see him in real life until 2013 and in until what month?i don't know,he doesn't know either.sigh* so it's hard,to know all that.it ain't easy to accept yet i opened my heart and face the bitter reality.

i can't believe i date you up eh,i still can't believe it - him

to be honest,i can't believe it either and most people that we know can't believe it too but we are dating each other up.we are a couple now,an item and he is my sigfinicant other,my other half,my boyfriend,my best friend,my partner in crime,my lover,my cute bunny and le honeybee. :) 

almost 6 months dating each other up and there isn't a day where i didn't think about him at all because he never leave my mind.i miss you sayang.i cannot wait to see you again and be silly with you and have a  "GET A ROOM" moment. :D muahx* 

i love you dear Chen,now and always. :'*

you will always be in my heart and you will always be in my mind.i can promise you that. :')

11:11