warning ; this post is going to be emotional and if you can't read emo shits,please leave before you barf.
i can't believe i am going to be in a long distance relationship again after what happened in 2011.i thought i would be like,in a normal relationship because frankly,the past made me traumatise of LDR.but,life always has a suprise for every human being in this world and i too,included in its plan.
Chen will be flying off to Penang at 0600 and once he will be in the plane,we are officially in a LDR.again,for us both.once he was still in Perlis and now,he will be in Penang.this time,it's going to be 2 years and a half.*can i bang my head on the wall?* i am so going to miss him,miss him so badly.in fact,i already miss him when i hugged him yesterday. :'( we met for the last time for the year 2012 ( Monday and Tuesday ) and i was really really really fucking glad and happy that he managed to came over in spite of his studies matters.to be honest,i was quite scared and upset that he might not going to make it yet he did,he did came over to spent 2 days with me.i was a happy camper for 2 days. :') and i love him so so so much that although it's already late and yet he still wanted to come all the way from Kuching just to make me the most happiest girl in the world.the meet up,was a big deal for me.i wanted to see him before he leave,to touch him,to smell him and to feel him.i want to remember everything about him,from his hair to his "hobbit" toes. :')
i love him so much it hurts.
i cried so hard yesterday,no,for the record,since last week until now.i know i am supposed to be cool,act relax and take it easy,things will gonna be okay.well,i know but i am just not that person.i can't act cool and act nothing happen because my boyfriend is leaving tomorrow.so yea,i need to be emotional for today and maybe tomorrow and soon after all the emotional thoughts and feelings will be gone,i will be normal and little miss sunshine again. sigh* this feelings,i wish i coul get rid of them but as the saying sounds "easier said than done" sigh* i gave him my tribal bracelet yesterday,for him to wear everyday to class and such so that he will always think of me and i'm wearing the ring necklase that he gave me so i will think and remember him everyday. :')
we can do this,okay?please,stay with me,hang on.i love you - him
what makes me so freaking emotional yesterday was when we were having this conversation, he said to me "when you going to Spring,you not gonna see me,when you gonna pass by my work place and look inside,im not there anymore,no more late night outings together,no more texting you saying i wanna hang out,this time i will text you i'm going to class,gonna study and such but don't worry,this is just for temporary jak.okay syg?" everything is not the same anymore.the next time i'm gonna coming down to Kuching,it will not because of him anymore.the last face to face conversations we had yesterday,it hurts knowing i wont gonna see him in real life until 2013 and in until what month?i don't know,he doesn't know either.sigh* so it's hard,to know all that.it ain't easy to accept yet i opened my heart and face the bitter reality.
i can't believe i date you up eh,i still can't believe it - him
to be honest,i can't believe it either and most people that we know can't believe it too but we are dating each other up.we are a couple now,an item and he is my sigfinicant other,my other half,my boyfriend,my best friend,my partner in crime,my lover,my cute bunny and le honeybee. :)
almost 6 months dating each other up and there isn't a day where i didn't think about him at all because he never leave my mind.i miss you sayang.i cannot wait to see you again and be silly with you and have a "GET A ROOM" moment. :D muahx*
i love you dear Chen,now and always. :'*
you will always be in my heart and you will always be in my mind.i can promise you that. :')
