Take Me Somewhere Nice

Dandelion Burst

Dear Sunday,i actually wanted to write since Saturday last week but i was so uninspired to write,therefore i abandon my blogger empty without a new post.well well here i am now,typing words that flows quickly from my rusty brain and at the same time,thinking about what Cecen is doing now.so so,last Saturday,i took a half day off because i went out with Cecen and my sister.it wasn't exactly a date actually,with my sister around hung out with us but it went really nice.him and i went to MPH,he was browing books at the Fantasy section while i was looking for a new book to buy but can't decide which one and ended up empty handed.a must do in a bookstore for me,sniffing books and he joined me as well.haha!it was really funny seeing him sniffing the pages while i was doing the same thing.we both look like an odd couple! xD then he brought me to the Engineering Section and that was when the part of boredom strikes,KIDDING! :D he started to talked about urmm..column?urmm...maths?....urmm...i don't know what else.he was explaining to me about what is Engineering all about and i was like ooooooo...now i know how Robin felt when Ted started to talked about Architecture. xD but as usual,everything went awesome.holding hands,laughing around,endless talking.aaahh what an evening i must say although we only went out for 3 hours. :')

it was indeed a short amount of time for a couple who were apart by distance to spend time together but i thank Him for the time that He provided to us.as least ada dari sikda langsung bah. :) life has been great so far to me until i wanna reach up to the stars and dancing with them.well,i am totally in love right now.jealous much?don't be..you will find your own significant other in time.all you have to do is wait.ngee~

this morning i  feel extremely gloomy due to certain occurences that made me wanted to dissapear myself from this living space and hide in my own world.i seek comfort from him,i vent to him and pour everything until at one point,i just want to let my tears drop but he kept on giving me endless positive words and i don't know how suddenly,i could feel a bright light just shone into the heart and make it feel light again,no dark patches,just perfectly white and i finally gained my calmness again.this is what i love about him,he is so positive i could never ever compete with that attitude for i am such a passive person,a little bit mellow and very vulnerable.

and until now,i can't quite figure out what is it in you that makes me keep on falling for you, dear.

but i know for sure,it is indeed a great thing.a lovely thing. :)

" I'm Fine "

#nowplaying On Your Side by Pete Yorn.

all these mix feelings thats building up inside me,i feel i am about to explode.

friend : you're okay?

me : okay jak,what's up?

friend : you look tired today.

me : no,i'm fine. *forcing a smile*

there are times i just want to retreat into my own world and isolate myself from people.sometimes i wonder,am i the one that has a problem with the society or the society that force me to feel this way. #BadDay

Heart Of Life

                         

                          

this "burping" video of him,makes me keep on clicking and rapping the replay button.too bad i didn't copy and save it in my laptop so i could see his "piece of art" every morning but oh well,there is always a download button. :B  cute cute Cecen.

me : cute daaa nya,nanga lok aie!
my sister : apa nama video tok tot?dolok nanga nya gik kecik jak rupa nya.hahahah sot.muka ya nang bangun tido lah. *laughing*
me : cute aiee! *smiling smiling around*

April 18th and 19th,the very first date of our relationship..Cecen met Sarah,it was indeed filled with bliss,laughter,bitching *cough* and mostly love.i won't tell what was going on those two days,what were we doing.some memories should just stay between you and your loved one.you don't have to share and shout to the world how your date has been because the first date is always the most precious and special so let the magical spark stays in your life and him only so you guys have something special to hold on to,to remember to.all i could say is that,i am incredibly in love with him,like..beyond words.i just couldn't express myself using words of how much i dearly dearrly madly in love with him. :) since he came into my life,i notice i laugh and smile a lot than before although i have problems that needs to be fix fast.his positive attitude,are one of his charms that attract me to him in the first place.i can be an ultimate passive person so him being around with me,makes me feel in the air,light again,instead of feeling a huge bulky stone,tying the heart down deep below.

Dear Rabbit Tooth, i love you,i freaking love you and you only.

and i miss you so much.

cannot wait to see you again and laughing together again *cough* xD

i love you,Dick Cheney. :3

ButterMilk Sky

tomorrow,April 18th :)

Infinity?

dear Monday,i miss my Cecen.there are times i wake up early in the morning,i wish i was in my hometown,Kuching and all of these are just a dream,a bad dream but reality comes knocking my head hard,i am completely not dreaming,wide awake and eventually,the feeling of upset came through inside me.i hate that feeling.really hate it and not being able to do anything about it except hoping that we will survive in this distance matter,it's really hard,based on my last experience,it didn't turned out as we thought so to be frank,i am kinda scared with this relationship of ours.i am incredibly happy with him,feeling the bliss and feel so blessed to have him in my life but..as a human being,i do have fears as well.the fear of losing him,the fear of distance and the fear of hope.yes,i am fully aware of the phrase "don't put too much hope because hope could kill you" but tell me,have you ever not put any hope in your relationships before even a little?that's what i am dealing with,i try not to put any single hope because i am too scared of getting hurt,scared of being left,scared of the old wounds would bleed again but it is in my nature to hope though a bit and i think hope and human can't be separate,ever.i try to distract myself from overthinking about the future of us,we both agree just to live in the present,in the moments,keep on creating memories and just..be happy with each other's company.i am in love with him.this is not a rebound phase,just for fun or whatever people says,this is true,the feeling is true and it came naturally.that's what i like about it,i didn't even intend to fall for him nor liked him way back when we were still friends.zero actually but fate intervened into our lives and here we are now,madly in love with each other. :) funny doesn't it,how life works.unexpected things happens,and sometimes it's bad and sometimes it's good.fortunately for me,it was more than good,it was the greatest. :)

and i hope this would be the last,amen.

Starless Night

                        

love of mine, someday you will die, but i'll be close behind, i'll follow into the dark, no blinding lights or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clapsed so tight, waiting for the hint of the spark.

nauseated.i can feel my brain cells are having a chaos party among themselves because i feel so dizzy to the max.i think i am gonna get sick in anytime soon,i can see the signs already.sore throat,a massive flu,headache.sigh* and therefore,to lighten up my moodiness,i listen to What Sarah Said by Death Cab For Cutie over and over and over and over again until i get sick of it but i don't think i will tho,such a beautiful song,meaningful as well.go listen,the lyrics will make you wonder about your life and your loved ones.

*typing,thinking,backspacing* 

sometimes,there are certain things that shouldn't be shared upon the world and keep it to yourself.there are certain things in life,are better left unsaid.

♥ sprinkle me with your rainbow

it feels really nice to know that the person you love so much,loves you back and yea,can't believe it is almost 31 days of the relationship. :) 

a thousand splendid suns

April 5th 2012,my Dad's 53rd birthday.we had a celebration for him that night,right after he came home from work at 7.30 pm.as the year passes by,he is getting a year older,i can see the the wrinkles and the aging signs starting to form around the forehead,the black spot on his hands,the almost greying hair but to me as his daughter,he is still look the same when i was 6 back then.the man that held my hand whenever wanted to crossed the road,the man that still looked after me and watched me from the class window when i was too terrified of strangers on the first day of school.yes,he is aging but to my eyes,he still the strong fine man i call Ayah. :') 

my sister and i shared money for his birthday gift,a book about war and definitely his forte.he is the reading type of Dad,always interested in increasing his knowledge no matter in law,war,politics or famous figures.some people said he should be in a politic world because he is absolutely coherent in debating or giving speech and can attract people with his talk even i myself can listen to his daily politic thoughts even though i know it is indeed a boring topic to talk or listen. xD the gift was definitely a perfect one because i see he bring the book to bed and read until he fell asleep and sometimes to his office as well,where books and dictions piled over one another so yea,we were happy splurging our money on something that made our superhero smile.

i bought myself another candy as well,a new addition to my family book.i am still reading The Kite Runner in the present *REALLY EMOTIONAL UNTIL I SOMETIMES TOO CARRIED AWAY AND ONCE IT AFFECTED MY MOOD AND CECEN HAD TO BEAR WITH IT!* xD so sorry boyfriend,you know me.once i feel the story,i feel to the deep core and emotionally,mentally influenced as well. :B

talk about Cecen,we are in good terms now although there are a bit of upset matters that made him went PARANOID ANDROID because of me.in the end we managed to overcome our problems with his commucating skills and his cute talks which i never wanted to fell over for but it was so HARD oh my god.he's very very very good at talks i tell you and i'm the suckier one.haha.i like to call him a smooth talker although he deny of being one but he really is,a gift i guess but don't you dare you misuse your gift to other girls Cecen.poke your eyes later,with sharp big needles.take note on that. :D 

all in all,i am living the blissful life now.with my Dad still in a good healthy shape,my sister who never fails to make me laugh with her celakaness stupid jokes,with a loving adorable boyfriend whom i can turn to,best friends from primary school still keeping in touch and up until now,we still talking nonsense like we used to and laughing around like there's no tomorrow.everything seems perfect,and i thank you God for that. :)

selamanya.

Postcard from 1952

"where hope grows, miracle blossoms"

after im done with my work,my sister and i,including the little beetle Alie went to a nearby park and had some photo taking moments.i couldn't say more how much i dearly really miss taking pictures regardless of what subjects as long as i could click the shutter button.damn i long for the days spent with Midnight back then.. :(

anyway,my sister was asked by this online shop blogger to capture a photo of her stilletos and directly sent to the blogger's email,which i do not understand how the hell people going to walk in it,i tried once and truthfully,i can't even stand properly let alone walk.lolol i know i know.i am not the heel and dress to the nine type of girl,i am more to the classic and oxford kind of lady.yes,but to be more specific,i love dressing like Jess in New Girl.a cute print tee,high waist skirt and complete it with a cute ballet flats and that's it but oh,with Midnight as well.i never leave home without him whenever i wanna go outing.never ever.

SOOC picture,meaning straight out of camera.no editing at all including cropping.im thinking about updating my Flickr after this,my photo site needs a new photo to display and let world see,judge and comment and i wonder how are my Flickr friends doing now.it seems that i'd abandon my hobby for so long.oh work,you consume my energy and time too too much until i don't even have time for myself. *sigh*

and hey April 1st 2012,i know you will bring me sweetdreams and nightmares in this 30 days of yours and guess what,bring it on. ;)