✎ The Time To See You Again.

my blog is lifeless without the name of my boyfriend here. i rarely post about him now and he blame Song Joong Ki for kidnapping me from him. haha. sorry baby, i still love you although i am pretty much in deep crush with the Korean boy. >< but do not despair, my heart is just for you, and only you. :)

it's been almost 3 months since we met baby and to my surprise, we almost reach 9 months status. yay to that! :) you're going to be a diploma graduate on next Thursday and i could never find a perfect word to say of how much i am PROUD OF YOU my dear smart man. i wish i can attend and see you in your square hat on your big day baby but i'm sorry i can't make it okay. i will send you your gifts all the way from Kuching to up north Penang with lots of huggies and kissies aite. :)

Christmas is coming soon enough but you're not gonna get back home so i guess we're going to celebrate our first Christmas apart then. and it sucks, can i say that? :| on January 2013, is definitely the highlight of my life because i can get to see your cute cute face and i can't WAIT! 2 months away, sigh* i really wish that time will be flying as fast as a Firebolt so i won't have to wait anymore. to see your face in front of me now, is one damn thing that i really want it to be happen but yea, it's impossible. i don't have the magic broom, can't apparate to your place and you don't have the transporter power. *sobs* now i wish we are unicorns baby.

but it's okay, i can do this. " we can do this " as you always says to me each time we hit the rock bottom and i can't be grateful and thankful enough of how the way you treated me despite of my  " OVER THE TOP, NONSENSE, BIPOLAR AND HOT HOT TEMPER " attitude. you're the kindest and definitely the most patient guy i ever met. i love you baby. :')

and the clock is ticking and i'm counting the days to see you, my dear. <3

✎ lost.

frankly, i am lost right now. i really don't know what to do with my life. i don't know which path should i take because everyone is pulling me towards different directions. ever since i was a kid, i listen to my family about work, about education and about life. i appreciate their opinions but sometimes, they're smothering me. each time i want to voice out about what i want, i will receive numerous of negative comments/ judgment remarks instead of positive ones. there are reasons why i don't want to continue my degree, i don't want to take up courses that i do not like/dislike/loathe/hate because i know who i am. i do not want to drop out like my brother and it's all because of the pressure from my family. i sometimes think am i living in this harsh world for what i am or what i want to be or is it because i live to please them, to make their dreams come true instead of making my dreams come true. i always wanted to involved in arts ever since primary school but my dad won't let me go near arts and take economics instead which i am pretty much sucks in it. sigh* and work, they putting up high hopes in me to get a job in the government institution but i really do not want to work with the gov. i do not want to get up every morning and feeling sucks doing things that i don't like for the rest of my life.

is it okay for me to say my life sucks? i need to say it out because i have no one to confide in. people don't understand me most of the time so i won't bother myself to explain to them why i'm being passive most of the time. wanna judge me again and saying i'm ungrateful or whatever? do so. i really couldn't careless of what my family let alone strangers gonna say about me. i think my brain is definitely mean words proof by now.

i still remember my UK friend Carl texted me all the way from Manchester just to say he's feeling a bit down, lost and didn't know what to do with his life and he's 27. i really didn't know what to say to him because i never experienced it until recently. 

now i know how it feels like to be an adult, and lost.

✎ Farewell Maru :')

i finally managed to watched The Innocent Man this morning! HOORAH! thank GOD the ending wasn't that bad as i thought it would be. Maru didn't die and became a doctor again. OOOOH SEXAY! HOORAH! Jae Hee and Ahn went to jail! HOORAH! and Eungi and Maru were back together again although Maru loses his memory but that's what he always wanted ever since the accident occured, he wanted to start anew again with Eungi just like another ordinary couple. HOORAH! so yea, i am satisfied and cried happily and sadly with the ending!

i supposed to watched the finale yesterday but the only site that provides sub on that time; viki.com had a major breakdown. i kept on refreshing the site but the video didn't want to show up and i searched at the other k drama sites but to my horror, they didn't provide sub because the video was still fresh and raw. wanna know what was my response due to the error? 

literally literally stressed out. T_T

Chen had to calmed my tits down and eventually i regained my calmness and waited till this morning and the whole waiting process was indeed a total worth! :'D

and now i can dance happily like an insane girl

but at the same time i feel like want to crawl into a cave and cry my eyes out because the drama finished way too soon than i expected. 

Nevertheless, KUDOS to The Innocent Man production team because of their beautiful and how to rip your heart out storyline, for their very well written scripts,amazing choreography,talented actors ( SONG JOONG KI HELLO??? ) oh my god, the best korean drama ever! :3

✎ Eyegasm.

he is a delicious dessert isn't he, nomnomnomnom! 

✎ Dress Gone Wrong.

ASOS skater dress with scalloped back. i adore backless dress. always.

i am really in love with my new skater dress especially with the colour but too bad, it's a bit large for me. the length is just nice but just the waist area it's a little large. :( i'm a UK6 but can fit up to UK8 as well but i've been knocked down by the fashion devil twice and from the same brand ASOS. yes, devastation indeed. i like the demureness it shows, it has a cute factor but not too cute if you know what i mean and the backlessness, i just love it. i love to bare my back while i cover up my front. so far i have two backless dress. other one is from Supre and i still haven't got the chance to wear it out. on Christmas perhaps? so since i can't really fit up with this lovely piece, i don't know what to do with it, either wanna sell it to other fashion lovers or keep it in my wardrobe. *sigh* :( i don't like Toga dresses and i don't know why, i don't feel great and look great even in a Toga and that is why i always opt for bandeau style dress,grecian dress,sweetheart cut skater dress and the of course the bodycons. i feel it's hard to let this one go, i really adore the turqouise colour because it stands me out from the crowd but yeah, shit happens. in my case, it happens twice. lesson learnt; i will never ever purchase UK8 apparels from ASOS anymore.

✎ Beautiful Love; Kang Maru

                          

|| Really by Song Joong Ki my love :3 ||

The Innocent Man is definitely one of the best Korean dramas i ever watched in my entire life, i gotta say i am not really a die hard fan but, i watched some of the them since i was 16 years old and i am extremely PICKY on which i wanna see so i won't wasting my time watching zero content dramas. i have to see the actors of course, the story line, the settings , styles ( i'm a girl duh ) and so far, my all time fav are Sad Sonata, Autumn In My Heart, My Fair Lady, Full House ( BI RAIN; HNNGGG! ) and of course The Innocent Man ( JOONG KI; I FELL IN CRUSH WITH HIM EVER SINCE I WATCH RUNNING MAN, HELLO MY FLOWER BOY! :3 )

i even woke up at 6.30 in the morning just to watch epi 18 at my kampung last Saturday!! i downloaded their soundtracks and listen to them every night ; Beautiful Love and Magnolia *eargasm and heart wrenching at the same time*  i record every episodes on Astro so i can watch repeatedly and my BBM PHOTO is of course Joong Ki. :D you really have no idea how obsess i am with this drama and Joong Ki as well.

and.. i am going cray cray, literally scratching my head, pinching my own cheeks, shouting at Maru for being so ridiculously stupid, and smack my sister's arm because i'm so so mad.yeah,freaking emotional watching this drama eh and the main reasons are ;

1; HAN JAE HEE IS A BITCHY WITCH AND I WANNA PUNCH HER IN THE THROAT FOR RUINING AND HURTING EUN GI AND KANG MARU ENDLESSLY. MANIPULATIVE BITCH!

2 ; KANG MARU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO EUN GI FOR USING HER IN THE PAST TO GET REVENGE ON JAE HEE AND CONFESS THAT HE REALLY IS IN LOVE WITH EUN GI NOW,DEEPLY IN LOVE AND REGRET THAT HE WAS BEING A JERK TO EUN GI BEFORE.

3 ; EUN GI  AND KANG MARU ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER BUT NONE OF THEM WANT TO SAY FIRST. NONE! AND EUN GI STILL THINKS THAT MARU IS FOR JAE HEE ALTHOUGH MARU IS SO OVER THAT BITCH.

*face palm*

but this drama only has 20 episodes so next week is the final two episodes, i can feel that i will have short term depression as i will face my lappy watching episode 20,eyes filled with tears,sobbing and weeping.shit,i don't want this drama to end actually.i still want to see KANG MARU @ SON JOONG KI but all things must come to an end i guess.i hope the ending will be perfect for Maru and Eun Gi, please please please i don't want Maru to die because of his brain disease. :( 

i am 100% sure that i will cry my eyes out next week like Eun Gi cried in the gif below. *sigh* i have to prepare myself mentally and a box of tissue will be my best friend for a day. T_T