i slept at 4 in the morning last night.well, 6 hours ago and i woke up around 8 am something.my head hurts to the max right now,i cant even think properly.my eyes,don't make me start on that and i can't shut my eyes anymore to give them a proper rest. *sigh*
i can't stop thinking as well.there is something i just want to let it out from my troubled heart but venting here on public won't do me any good.i don't want to trouble up my friends either since they have enough problems of their own to deal with.
i don't know what is wrong with me frankly,i feel agitated most of the time,anxiety attack and being snappy towards anyone.i didin't mean to be one but, i really can't help it.people should lock me up and sew up my mouth to prevent me from being violent,well,verbally of course.not physically.i feel so restless,mood swings has taken over me like fire and sometimes, boyfriend has to deal it with and i feel bad for him. :(
forlorn,languid,emptiness and the feeling of crying my heart out but, not even a shed comes out from my eyes. what is happening to me.
last night, boyfriend and i had a talk on the phone at 2 in the morning, he was being lovely and sweet to me as usual but i had this off feeling until i had to made him stop talking and the feeling of bursting into tears increased as fast as a lightning from 50 to 150. *sigh*
i miss my boyfriend you know, i haven't seen him since he left,almost 2 months and i am lying if i say i am okay because i am definitely not okay with this.his lappy broke down,no internet line on his rental house,he can't even send mms to me because his phone's mms setting is just asdfghjkl.the only thind we could do to survive this LDR is just by texting and calling each other up.it's like living in the 90's era where Nokia 3310 was the major hit.regardless,i still feel grateful tho that we still manage to contact each other up rather than none but you know, to see a glimpse of him for a while would be nice and to see his smile upon his face in front of me virtually would definitely cure my heart ache. :(
